This blog post comes from a question sent to me on Facebook.

Question: Valerie I want to make a difference in people’s lives but how can I do this I’m just an Internet Marketer?

There’s some interesting stuff here.  I think you’re going to get a lot of benefit from this, because once you know how to deliver value better than your contemporaries deliver value, you’re going to make a lot more money.  More than the money you can make, you will run to your desk each day with the “joys” of helping others.

Some of this stuff is pretty obvious, but I have my own slants on it as I always do.  And some of the stuff is not so obvious, and a lot of people overlook that.  The result is they don’t infuse that in their marketing, and therefore, that’s one less competitive advantage they bring to the table.

 Impacting Lives

Once you can understand how you can impact people’s lives and all the different ways you can do so, if you can create a plan to put as much of that into your business as possible, you’re going to kick some serious butt.

So when I do my internet marketing, I think to myself “What’s my job?”  And here’s really my job.  It’s these things right here.  We’re going to break all of these down for the most part.

My main task is to bring a simple solution to a crippling problem, but I also have to listen to them.  This is a dynamic relationship, where we have to feel each other out and see what’s going on so we can work together.

The other thing here is some people like to live through others.  That’s why television is so popular, because it gives us a peek inside worlds that we never see.  And so I have to be able to give them a peek inside my world that they otherwise would not get access to the excitement.  I’m in the inner circle.  I’m making all this cash.  I’m doing all these things right, and I still have integrity.  They want to know what that looks like.  So that’s another thing I give them.

My job is to look out for their best interests in a way that nobody else is.  So I do things for them that I make sure are helpful for them, that’s not necessarily going to make me any money that you can trace to it making money, but it’s going to build a lot of good will, which will then make me money.  Like I said, it’s not something very easy to trace, but I know it’s important.

So there’s times where I’ll sacrifice part of my profits or I’ll sacrifice some of my time just so I can look out for their best interests.  I’ll tell them what products not to buy.  I’ll tell them the traps to avoid that I know they are easily sucked into and pay money for because they get tricked.  I tell them “Hey, I’m not going to trick you, and this is what you should avoid, even though, yes, I know I can use this and making a ton of money.  I’m not going to because I’m looking out for your best interest.”

Be their unlimited source of optimism.  There’s so much negativity out there.  They need somebody to turn to who is constantly showing them the other side, the better path to take.

Finally, offer them something they can’t get anywhere else.  If you do all these things, you’re going to make this true.

So let’s break down and look at some of these things individually.

1.Bring Solutions

The first thing here that you want to do, the main crutch in your business, the main thing that’s going to make a difference to somebody’s life is to bring a simple solution to a crippling problem.

So, for example, I’ve taken people who were broke and turned them into super-charged product creators.  So they were able to work from home, make twice or three times or even four times or even five times, actually, as much money as they ever had previously in their life, and I was able to do that for them quickly so they could measure it.  They were extremely thankful.

I made a difference in their lives, and they love me.  They tell everybody about it, and basically, they look at every other thing that I put out there.  Now they have more money to buy my other stuff — awesome.

And I’ve shown people how to write sales letters in two hours when before they couldn’t do it in two years.  What did I do?  One of the big things I did is I gave them something that gave them confidence that they could do it.  And confidence is so valuable because a lot of people lack that.

I made a difference in their life.  I have changed their thinking.  I have literally changed what goes on inside their head in a way that’s going to make them more valuable as a person to humanity at large.  And they love me for that.  They’re so happy.  They’re willing to pay me a lot of money to get stuff like that.  That’s great.

I did the same thing with product creation.  I cut down people’s article-writing times from 50 minutes to 5 minutes.  Think about how you make a difference in somebody’s life.  Time is the most valuable resource that there is.  I say “Here.  I can get you the same result.  I can do it quicker every single time.”  So if you write ten articles, I’m saving you 450 minutes.  That’s a lot of time.  That’s six or seven hours that you could be spending with your family.  That’s six or seven hours you could be devoting your time to your hobbies, six or seven hours you could be doing other stuff that would make you more money or make you money that you otherwise couldn’t make — whatever.  I’m giving you time, and time can make all the difference in somebody’s life.

Really, that’s what I’m doing.  I’m finding solutions to crippling problems — simple solutions — that if they really acted on it and they had the propensity to do it, they would get the result too.  That’s one of the ways I changed a life.  That’s the most obvious.

Let’s get a little bit deeper with it.

2. Listen To People

The second part of your job in how to make a difference in somebody’s life is to listen to them.  In life, we all seem like strangers.  It’s so weird.  Sometimes I’m driving my car, and I just look at all the cars go by, passing me or I’m passing them on the interstate.  I’m like “I never will know this person, this person, this person, this person.  I’ll never know any of these people.”

And then I see all the semis, because I live in Georgia, and you can see about 17 semis on the interstate in about five minutes.  I’m thinking “Man, they’re taking all this stuff to places.  These people created all this stuff.  These other people are going to use this stuff and spread it out to all these other people, and I’m never going to know any of this.”  I’m standing in line at the store, and I’m like “I don’t know any of these people here.  I don’t know anybody in this whole store.”

It seems in life, 99 percent of the people we pass by are strangers.  And so a lot of people feel alone because of that, or isolated.  Most people feel that they have no one to turn to, no one to talk to, no one that knows what they’re going through.  That’s especially true in the information business, where everybody looks at us like weirdos because we want to read something or watch something or listen to something that’s going to try to give us a new skill that we didn’t possess.  Most people don’t think like that.

So when you go out there and you try to better yourself in a world where nobody tries to better themselves. You get this feeling that you are alone.  There’s no one you can really turn to very easily who understands.

So they want to be able to feel like you’re there, you understand, because you know what they want, because you have heard their cries.  You have listened to their problems, and you’re finding solutions for them.

Basically, they want somebody who understands them.  They want somebody they can look at and say “Hey, I’m just like her.  I can do the things she’s done.  I just have to know what she knows.”  And then they want to listen to you so they can get what you know so they can do it too.  That’s simple.

So that’s the second big part of your job.

3. Give Vicarious Thrills

The third one that a lot of people overlook is to give them vicarious thrills.  Some people — the value of just feeling like they got a glimpse inside the inner circle is extremely worth a lot of money to them.  This is how practically the whole network marketing business, the multi-level marketing business, is run.  Most people aren’t making money at all, but as long as they can be around others who are making money, they feel like they’re doing something, like they’re part of something.  So they get value in that, and that’s value you should not underestimate.

Like I said, some people don’t have the nerve to be on the field, but they love to be in the stands.  So a lot of people go to sports games and they’re like “Yeah, we’re playing the Patriots this weekend.”  “Oh, you’re on the professional football team then.”  “Well, no.”  They have an identity with that team even though they never could do it.  Just by being in the stands, they feel like they’re a part of it.

And that’s what you kind of want to foster with your group of buyers, your group of prospects, or anybody that you can put a marketing communication message in front of.

If they can’t do it, at least they can say they helped somebody who could.  This is another thing.  If they felt like they were a part and they participated in your success story in some way, even though that person didn’t succeed, they felt like they contributed some value to humanity because they helped somebody make a difference in somebody’s life, and there’s value in that.

So they’ll tell them “I’m friends with someone who…” — this is the “water cooler talk”.  Or “Hey, I know a guy who…” — this is your after work bar talk with your buddies.  Or your family members — “Hey, I know somebody who…”  You’re telling them about me, or you’re telling them about whoever you’re looking to for advice on solving that simple solution to a crippling problem.

So you’ve got to give them the ability to understand and give them a glimpse of what you’re going through in your life, the things you do, so that way they can feel like they’re getting a vicarious thrill, like they’re participating in your success.  And they’re going to be extremely responsive, because that’s a high-level value for them.

Let me again just reiterate.  Some people just don’t have what it takes to do this.  I’m not one of those people who believes everybody can do this.  I know that there’s some people who can’t do this and never will be able to do this.  And that’s okay, because they can do a lot of stuff I can’t do that make them money.  They just probably can’t do it with internet marketing.

Now, that’s only a small portion of people, but some of those people just want to belong.  And why rob them of that opportunity?  While they’ll never have the aptitude to do it themselves, just by participating and seeing you do it and feeling like they helped and just being in that inner circle saying “I know this guy who…” — that’s going to give them a lot of value.

4. Look Out For Their Best Interests

Okay, so moving on.  This is another way to make a difference in somebody’s life is to look out for their best interests.  I know this sounds silly, but everybody is so self-interested that they don’t understand that it’s in your self-interest to help other people.  It’s so weird.  It’s like the more you give, the more you get.  I don’t know how it works.  I just know that it works and I have been doing it for years.

One of your jobs is to warn them about potential threats that they would otherwise be unaware of.  Sometimes it’s at the sacrifice of profits — yes, that’s true.  I do this a lot.  Sometimes it’s a sacrifice of contacts or of business partners.  You just say “Hey, I like this guy and I follow him, but this is one opportunity that he’s a part of that I don’t endorse.  And I don’t think you should get sucked in, because in my opinion, it’s flawed.”

You’re going to bat for your customers, and you’re alienating yourself.  You’re running the risk that people are going to get mad at you.  I’ve been threatened with lawsuits before because I told my customers I didn’t like this product.  They’re like “That’s libel.  You’re going to get sued.”  I’m just like “Whatever, man.  I got to step up and look out for their best interests.”  Nobody else, in my opinion — when I looked around — nobody else was saying the things that I thought needed to be said, so I said them.

That’s your job, too.  You’ve got to say the things that other people are afraid to say that you know are in your customers’ best interest.

5. Protect Them From Negative Social Conditioning

The other thing you need to do — and this kind of ties in with the next point here — is safe guard them from negative social conditioning.

You’ve got to be that guy or gal; who doesn’t allow them to be around their soul-sucking friends, who will tell them that they’re foolish or chasing a dream or whatever.  You’ve got to look out and let them know what’s going to happen to them.  Then you’ve got to equip them with strategies to deal with that in a positive manner. (New wine skins right 🙂 )

Finally, make small sacrifices for your customers from time to time.  And again, sacrificing is in your best interest.  It’s a great paradox.  I love that it works that way.

So from time to time, do things that don’t make you any money right away.  Just do them because you want to give something back.  So one time for my list I said “Hey, I’m doing two hours of free ad critiques.  Here’s how it works:  Send me your ad, your piece of copy.  If you get it in to me, I’m going to take them in the order I get them.  I’m going to critique this, and I’m going to put it up on the internet, and you can watch the video of my critique.  This is free.  Normally I charge a lot of money for a sales critique — $175 for a half an hour or $350 for a full hour.  However, I just want to give something back to you, and this is the way that I thought I could do this.  So reply to this, and you’ll benefit from it.”  And yeah, people loved that.

6. Make Sacrifices

Another time I said “Hey, I’m going to put together a little source to refer people who ask me for ad writers to this page. So if you’ve got information as a writer and you do ad writing, send me your details.  I’ll put this together, and then when people come and ask me for referrals, I’ll just send them to this page.”  I’m not making any money that way.  It’s just taking up my time is what it’s doing, but I’m looking out for their best interests.  I know if I can help them succeed, then they’re going to help me succeed.  They’re going to want to help me succeed.  That’s part of it.

This next thing is a major, major biggie that a lot of people just don’t understand.  They overlook it in their business as a service provider, and they shouldn’t, and that’s to be the source of unrestricted optimism.

70 to 80 percent of our thoughts are negative.  If you are the average person, almost four out of five thoughts that you think are negative in nature.  A lot of it has to do with the culture we’re raised in.  When you’re a kid, what are you told all the time?  “Don’t do that.  No.  Stop.  Put that down.  No, no, no, no, no.”

Then you go to school.  Guess how they grade you.  They don’t mark everything you got right on your paper.  They only mark everything you got wrong on your paper.

And you’re usually taught by people who are not very successful.  You’re taught by business teachers who have never ran a business in their life.  You’re taught by art teachers who have never had a painting published or a work of art.  You’re taught by musicians who have never toured or played a live gig before.  You’re taught by chemistry teachers who the only chemistry they do is in their head, mixing chemicals about how negative they are. Your taught by mentors who have never earned more than $100,00 in a month or even built a million-dollar-business. On and on and on.

You’re taught by all these people who make nothing.  I’ve made more in a week than most starting teachers make in a whole year, and you’re taught by these people who make nothing and who are usually miserable and settle on teaching as a last resort.  And this is what you grow up in, and you spend six hours a day, seven, eight hours a day in this environment for 15 years, 14 years, maybe more if you go to college.

And the result is you get all these negative thoughts by just being in the social cog — a machine.

So you as a service provider have to be that person that fixes that for them.  You’ve got to be that person who gives them that ray of hope constantly from every single different angle that you can.  You’ve got to be a living example of unbridled optimism.

7. Be Optimistic

This is very real to me.  Not too long ago my grand-son; passed away, and what did I do?  I showed my list of customers, I showed the people around me, how to respond to that situation.  So I found every single positive thing I could take away from something so sad.  It was tragic.

And what did I do?  I turned it into every single positive that I could, and I went out there and I showed them by example — unrestricted optimism — how I’m going to get through this.  I’m going to figure out how to make this work, and I’m going to actually be a better person because of this.  I’m going to touch more people then I would otherwise touch.  I’m going to turn this devastating challenge into an opportunity.

And everybody picked up on that.  They were like “This is amazing.”  They got caught up in it, and I impacted their lives because of that.  That’s the difference you can make in somebody else’s life.  I showed them how to think positively in the most negative of all situations.

The other thing is the status quo is so mundane.  I grew up in a town where 25 percent of employed people worked at one factory, because it was a really big factory.  So one out of every four working adults that you would see on the streets worked in this factory, and this factory works like this.

You typically work either first or second shift, but a lot of people work second shift, so your whole social calendar is screwed up.  You work eight hours a day; you go home; watch TV; hang out with the wife or the husband; work eight hours a day; and then on the weekend you go out and get hammered because your life sucks so much.  It’s boring.

The status quo is mundane, and you want to give them something that uplifts them and gets them excited.  Normal people get normal results, so you don’t want to be normal, and you don’t want to explain stuff in a normal fashion.  You want to explain stuff with a new slant, and you want to give them a new way of looking at doing the stuff that they’re doing in their lives and new approaches so they can get new results.

8. Be Different

You want to be different than what the norm is.  Offer them alternatives to the norm by giving them different options, like I was talking about.

Like I talked about earlier, show them how to handle setbacks properly.  Be that example of how to always think positive no matter what situation occurs.  Always point out the opportunity.  Always show them the potential growth in any situation.

And finally, you never want to let them give up on their dreams.  You always want to continue to push them to chase that ideal solution that they’re picturing in their mind 24/7.  You always want to be able to be that person that says it’s possible.  Show them every single testimonial you can.  Show them every single case study that you can.  Show them every factoid.  Show them every bit of statistics.  Show them every bit of your own personal insight.  It shows that it’s possible for somebody who is determined to achieve their dreams, and that will make a difference in someone’s life.

It all boils down to this.  It all boils down to offering them something of value that they just can’t get anywhere else.  So if you can combine really good information with really actually listening to them deeper than most people do — give them a little glimpse into what their life could be like.  Always look out for their best interests, and be that person, that ray of light, that rose that grows in the concrete in the middle of the street — be that thing.  Be that unrestricted source of optimism.

If you combine all these things together, then you’re going to be able to offer them not only the best information, but the best experience of their lives.  They can’t get that anywhere else.  If you do that, you’ll make a difference in somebody else’s life.  And the cool thing is that if you help them get what they want, they are more than likely to help you get what you want.

In the midst of everything that I just said. Never stop being “YOU”.. Thank you for reading this, get out there now and do your job.

Valerie “The Coach” Adams
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